Building a Lasting Marriage

After my wife and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary, some good natured (though not quite true) jokes were generated such as:

"We have never considered divorce. Murder, yes, but never divorce."

"We've been happily married for ten years. We've actually been married for 26 years but ten of them have been happy."

"In all our years of marriage we've never gone to sleep angry with each other. Sometimes we've stayed up without sleep for four days though."

For Diane's part, she has had to field such questions as, "How have you managed to live with this guy that long?" and "How do you put up with him?" She has learned to nod and smile and give all the credit to the mercy of the Lord.

But the most prominent thought Diane and I as we celebrate this anniversary is, "Aren't we fortunate to have a loving relationship that has endured for over twenty five years?" We know some of it is due to perseverance and effort on our part, but we are mindful that our anniversary is also a time to celebrate the many people who have contributed to our marriage.

• Both sets of our parents, who themselves have been married for over fifty years. They gave us a blueprint of marriage by their positive role modeling and words of encouragement
• Our pastors and friends at church who counseled with us, cried with us and laughed with us through the trials and triumphs of life. They helped frame our house of marriage with the support we needed.
• Our children, who added so much joy to our lives but also forced us to think beyond ourselves and our own wants. They decorated our marriage with bright colors inside and out.
• The authors of innumerable books we read, speakers at seminars we attended and assorted individuals who contributed wisdom and insight over the years on the subject of marriage in general, and our marriage in particular.
• Our Heavenly Father, who patiently reveals His way to us and encourages us, through His word, to remain faithful in our marriage commitment.

It takes more than two to make a marriage thrive. Whether you are in a marriage that is "working" or seems dysfunctional right now, here are three suggestions to help you celebrate many more anniversaries:

1. Don't be reluctant or afraid to seek outside counseling with persistent marital problems. The insight of a concerned and thoughtful third party can be a refreshing and healthy. 
2. Expand your circle of friends to include couples who are committed to marriage. Spend time with those who will encourage, and not undermine, your marriage commitment. 
3. Increase the amount of time you spend working on your marriage. Dedicate parts of each week to cultivating your marriage relationship.

In a recent national survey, most Americans identified their number one goal as a strong family life. Strengthening your marriage is the best place to start. It will give you cause to celebrate.

"Building a Lasting Marriage" by Jim Priest