Mark Twain once advised that all children having reached their thirteenth birthday should be put in a wooden barrel, the lid nailed shut, and be fed through a hole in the side. When they turn sixteen plug the hole in the side. There have been days with my teenagers when I have considered heeding that advice, but there are also days when they just surprise me by doing something that is totally awesome.
My youngest son, who is sixteen, just gave his girlfriend a Christmas gift that is totally awesome! No, it was not a brand new Mustang convertible. It was a journal, but not any ordinary journal. He kept every little scrap of remembrance, note, ticket stub, since they began dating even down to a gum wrapper given on some special occasion. He took all these items and placed each one on a page of the journal and then wrote an entry explaining what each of these items meant to him. It took him hours to compile and write this.
A couple of days before he gave it to her, he read parts of it to his mother, and his three sisters. All of them were in absolute awe of what he had done. When he gave it to his girlfriend she was moved to tears by it. If he had given her a new Mustang convertible, it would have paled in comparison to the gift of the journal.
What made this gift so valuable? The gift was valuable because it showed the young lady that she was valuable. I think being valued is at the heart of every woman, especially our wives. Scripture not only teaches the importance of value to our wives, but commands that we, as husbands, give value to our wives. Peter writes, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” 1 Peter 3:7 NKJV (emphasis added).
The word honor means to ascribe a value to something. Peter’s phrase “as to the weaker vessel” is often misunderstood. He is not saying that women are weak and somehow inferior. Let me give you a word picture of what this means. I am an avid coffee drinker. I carry a durable plastic coffee cup in my car that I refill most days at my favorite coffee shop. When I am done with my coffee this cup gets thrown in the back of my car till I need to use it the next time. Occasionally, it even gets washed out! On the other hand, when my mother died last year, she left some beautiful hand-painted porcelain china coffee cups to us. These cups are not designed to be carried in the car and thrown in the back seat. No, they are delicate and beautiful. They are designed to be put where they can be admired and used with care and love. How do you treat your wife? Like a plastic travel mug or a beautiful porcelain cup? Whatever you take care of is valuable to you.
How do you show her she is valuable? There are many different ways. You can express value with words, actions, attitudes, gifts, listening, etc. Be romantically creative! By the way, there is a spiritual benefit when value is exhibited in a marriage. Peter says that our prayers will not be hindered. Value builds on the beautiful “oneness” that God wants us to have in our marriages.
It’s the beginning of a New Year, what a great time to get busy working on expressing value to your spouse. Well, I need to go visit with my sixteen year old son and see if he has some other great creative ideas. Besides, I think it’s time to let him out of the barrel!
Dr. Walter Mullican
Sr. Pastor, Portland Ave Baptist Church, OKC
Marriage Network Oklahoma Board
http://www.wmullican.blogspot.com/
http://www.portlandavenue.org/
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