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McCullough: Lawmakers Must Face Divorce Issue
As lawmakers deal with the budget shortfall, they must also face the issue of family fragmentation, state Rep. Mark McCullough said today.
“Clearly, legislation alone will not solve the problem of divorce and family fragmentation, but we cannot afford to ignore the issue as it drains hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars,” said McCullough, R-Sapulpa.
House Bill 2634, by McCullough, would require two hours of pre-marital counseling before the issuance of a marriage license and provide a $45 dollar discount on a marriage license for couples getting more than eight hours of pre-marital counseling. The measure also allows for a “covenant marriage” license and requires court directed pre-divorce education classes for couples with children.
McCullough noted the counseling and divorce education provisions are already in state law, but are permissive and currently do not require participation.
House Bill 2634 was approved by the House Judiciary Committee this week on a 6-5 vote.
However, a similar measure was defeated on the House floor on Monday. House Bill 2543, by state Rep. John Wright (R-Broken Arrow), would have required couples to go through one hour of divorce counseling before they can file for divorce. The measure was defeated 37-57.
“Some are hesitant to support this legislation because of concerns about government becoming involved in this issue,” McCullough said. “Unfortunately, the state is already involved – big time. State government spends more than $400 million every year on the fallout of divorce.”
A recent study, “The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing” conservatively estimates divorce has a dramatic impact on the cost of state government (largely through public assistance programs) – up to $430 million annually in Oklahoma.
“The bills Representative Wright and I filed each have a simple theme: reasonable, rational, and quite frankly, pretty mild proposals to encourage people to be deliberative about the marriage and divorce process,” McCullough said. “These are two simple proposals that could help Oklahomans that have no real downside.”
A third measure, House Bill 2279, by state Rep. Sally Kern (R-Oklahoma City), would have slowed the divorce process for couples with young children where just one spouse seeks a “no fault” divorce. That bill was defeated 3-7 in the House Judiciary Committee.
“Representative Kern knew it was controversial to challenge no fault divorce, but her perception is that the consequence of no fault – 40 years on – has been nothing less than catastrophic to the institution of marriage,” McCullough said. “Why not challenge the axiom of no fault’s supremacy?”
McCullough noted that research shows children from broken homes are 12 times more likely to be incarcerated, seven times more likely to live in poverty and three times more likely to be expelled and receive lower grades. They also are more susceptible to substance abuse and mental health disorders.
“Government will not solve this problem but government is already heavily involved,” McCullough said. “We cannot pretend the state does not have role in the increasingly clear problem of family fragmentation.”
Focus on Marriage Nationwide Simulcast is THIS Saturday, Feb. 27
The international family-strengthening ministry, Focus on the Family, will simulcast their 2010 marriage conference, Focus on Marriage, to locations nationwide this Saturday, Feb. 27.
Among the scheduled speakers will be Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage; actor Kirk Cameron and wife, Chelsea; Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, of RealRelationships.com; Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages; Francis Chan; and Stephen Kendrick, producer of the 2008 movie, Fireproof.
In Oklahoma, the simulcast will be broadcast live from 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. The price to attend is $35 per person.
Locations to view the simulcast include churches in Bristow, Choctaw (Bethel Ministries), Edmond (First Presbyterian Church), Enid (Oakwood), and Hydro.
For more information and to register, visit FocusonMarriage.com
HB 2543 Fails in State House Vote
The bill, authored by Rep. John Wright (R-Broken Arrow), would have required couples contemplating a divorce to obtain one (1) hour of counseling before a petition for divorce could be filed.
The House vote was 37 for, 57 against, and 7 members were excused. More Republicans voted for the bill than Democrats, but the vote was bipartisan, with some Republicans voting against the bill.
Here is how your representative voted:
YEAS: 37
Armes Hickman Moore Tibbs
Christian Jackson Murphey Trebilcock
Coody Johnson Nelson Watson
Dank Jones Peterson Wesselhoft
Derby Kern Ritze Wright, H.
DeWitt Liebmann Russ Wright, J.
Duncan Martin, Sc Shannon Mr. Speaker
Enns McCullough Steele
Faught McDaniel, R. Terrill
Hamilton McNiel Thompson
NAYS: 57
Auffet Glenn McAffrey Rousselot
Bailey Hilliard McDaniel, J. Sanders
Banz Holland McPeak Schwartz
Billy Hoskin Morgan Scott
Brannon Inman Morrissette Shelton
Brown Jett Ortega Sherrer
Buck Jordan Osborn Shoemake
Cannaday Joyner Ownbey Shumate
Carey Key Peters Smithson
Collins Kiesel Pittman Sullivan
Cooksey Kirby Proctor Thomsen
Cox Kouplen Pruett Williams
Denney Lamons Renegar
Dorman Luttrell Richardson
Fields Martin, St. Roan
EXCUSED: 7
Blackwell Miller Reynolds Walker
Harrison Nations Sears
Help Strengthen Marriages By Helping MNO Win a New Web-Site!!
Will you help us?
You can help strengthen marriages in the Sooner State by taking an extra minute to click on the following link: http://www.elementfusion.com/2010-giveaway-one-finalists
Marriage Network Oklahoma, with whom OFPC partners for marriage ministry, is a finalist (hooray!) in the offer by OKC Website Design company Element Fusion to generously donate a free Web-site design to one of three finalists. The general public votes, beginning today through Feb. 27, to determine what nonprofit organization wins the free new Web-site. The winner will be announced on March 1.
As you may know, Marriage Network Oklahoma's vision is to work with Oklahoma's thousands of churches to help them to develop comprehensive marriage ministries within their congregations. In Oklahoma, 76% of couples get married in a church, but after the wedding, many churches do little or nothing to help married couples actually foster and and grow the marriage to which they've committed. MNO is working to change that one church at a time.
Imagine what could happen to this state (and for the cause of Christ) if many thousands of Oklahoma's marriages were strong, healthy, and holy pictures of the love Christ has for His bride, the Church? No divorces isn't our goal -- it's thriving marriages for the benefit of husbands, wives, children, and our society that is MNO's goal. But, it's not going to happen unless Oklahoma's churches are a BIG part of the solution. And actively helping Oklahoma's churches to realize this goal is what Marriage Network Oklahoma is all about.
MNO really needs and desires a great, new Web-site to tell our story, and YOU can be a crucial link in helping us to meet this need. Please click on the Element Fusion link and vote for Marriage Network Oklahoma before Feb. 27.
Click on the following link: http://www.elementfusion.com/2010-giveaway-one-finalists
Also, forward the above link with a short note of explanation and invitation to all your friends and colleagues, too. Many thanks for voting for Marriage Network Oklahoma!
David Dunn
Oklahoma Family Policy Council
Executive Board, Marriage Network Oklahoma
You can help strengthen marriages in the Sooner State by taking an extra minute to click on the following link: http://www.elementfusion.com/2010-giveaway-one-finalists
Marriage Network Oklahoma, with whom OFPC partners for marriage ministry, is a finalist (hooray!) in the offer by OKC Website Design company Element Fusion to generously donate a free Web-site design to one of three finalists. The general public votes, beginning today through Feb. 27, to determine what nonprofit organization wins the free new Web-site. The winner will be announced on March 1.
As you may know, Marriage Network Oklahoma's vision is to work with Oklahoma's thousands of churches to help them to develop comprehensive marriage ministries within their congregations. In Oklahoma, 76% of couples get married in a church, but after the wedding, many churches do little or nothing to help married couples actually foster and and grow the marriage to which they've committed. MNO is working to change that one church at a time.
Imagine what could happen to this state (and for the cause of Christ) if many thousands of Oklahoma's marriages were strong, healthy, and holy pictures of the love Christ has for His bride, the Church? No divorces isn't our goal -- it's thriving marriages for the benefit of husbands, wives, children, and our society that is MNO's goal. But, it's not going to happen unless Oklahoma's churches are a BIG part of the solution. And actively helping Oklahoma's churches to realize this goal is what Marriage Network Oklahoma is all about.
MNO really needs and desires a great, new Web-site to tell our story, and YOU can be a crucial link in helping us to meet this need. Please click on the Element Fusion link and vote for Marriage Network Oklahoma before Feb. 27.
Click on the following link: http://www.elementfusion.com/2010-giveaway-one-finalists
Also, forward the above link with a short note of explanation and invitation to all your friends and colleagues, too. Many thanks for voting for Marriage Network Oklahoma!
David Dunn
Oklahoma Family Policy Council
Executive Board, Marriage Network Oklahoma
What's More Important . . . the Wedding or the Marriage?
This week, through Sunday, it's National Marriage Week USA (did you know that?). So, amid all your scurrying around in planning for a romantic Valentine's Day, allocate some of that scurrying around time for your marriage, too.
Here's a great article in USA Today, today (as the late broadcaster Paul Harvey used to say).
All parents know that girls dream of the grand wedding and all the associated expenses, but the Feb. 10 USA Today article says newly married couples should be sure to prioritize in the family budget some money for dates nights, trips away, etc. Remember, it's the Marriage, not the Wedding, which is most important to a couple's long-term success in lasting love.
To view the article, click here.
David Dunn
Oklahoma Family Policy Council
Board, Marriage Network Oklahoma
One Day is Not Enough
I'm not very good with numbers. That's why I went to law school. They told me there wouldn't be any math. But accountants know about numbers and when my accountant, Mike, talks numbers, I listen carefully.
Mike recently told me, "One is not enough. You need fourteen."
"Fourteen what?" I asked numbly, assuming he was referring to something like fourteen tax exemptions.
"Days", replied Mike. "One day is not enough to tell someone you love them. You need the fourteen days of Valentine."
I had heard of the twelve days of Christmas, but never the fourteen days of Valentine. I was intrigued and asked my CPA to itemize his deductions about Valentine's Day.
"People tend to rush through Valentine's Day," Mike explained. "They give a card or buy a box of candy, and it's over. That's why my wife and I started doing the fourteen days of Valentine. We buy small gifts or cards for each other and start giving them on February 1. That way, when Valentine's Day rolls around, we've had two weeks of hearing about our love for each other."
Mike said he really enjoys the reaction of store clerks when he explains why he's buying early Valentine's Day presents. The clerks think the idea is great and vow to do it for their loved one.
I have to admit, Mike has set a high standard for the rest of us. Most men think about Valentine's Day somewhere around 4:30 p.m. on February 13. We scramble around at the last minute trying to find red lingerie and a picked over greeting card. What if westarted a little Valentine's revolution and implemented Mike's fourteen day idea? What might happen?
***We might improve the economy by starting a new retail boomlet in late January. The fourteen day gift giving tradition could ignite a mini buying frenzy comparable to the one occurring just after Thanksgiving.
***We might find something to occupy our thoughts and conversations other than endless playoff games in the National Football League.
***Our loved ones might get the message that we care about them and that we didn't just buy something on February 14 out of a sense of obligation.
Here are some ideas that might work for your fourteen days of Valentine:
(1) Give words of affirmation. Each day from February 1 through the 14th give your loved one a note that tells one thing you like about him or her.
(2) Give one flower each day for the fourteen days. Attach a note with a complimentary word that describes your loved one.
(3) Give gifts with a theme for fourteen days. One man gave his wife a bracelet that said "Always" on it. In the days that followed he rented the movie "Always", gave her the song "Always and forever", sent her balloons with the word "Always" on them and bought her a desk plaque that read "Always". After fourteen days she got the message!
Mike is right. One day is not enough. This year, let's celebrate Valentine's Day for two weeks.
By Jim Priest
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